The Devil Farts In My Face Once Again

delta-airplane

Ah, air travel. The dream of the human race for thousands of years and made a reality in 1903. And yet, more than a hundred years later, is now seen as so commonplace as to bitch about it at every opportunity instead of marveling, like Louis CK talked about on Conan O’Brien, that we are sitting on a seat flying through their air. We are in a chair in the air.

And yet…..I can’t help but get stressed out and worried when flights are missed, like yesterday. I should have realized something would go wrong simply because I had only 45 minutes to board my next flight home to Kansas City from Detroit (I was coming from Ithaca, New York). The plane was a few minutes late getting into Ithaca. OK, not a problem. Not a problem until we sopped on the tarmac near the gate (but not AT it) so they could de-frost the plane. Then we were in the air, horray! Don’t cheer quite yet, E. Because when we were finally in Detroit airspace, we had to circle it for a half-hour before landing! To make a long story short, not only did I miss my connecting flight but I had also missed another flight I could have gone on by ten minutes!

To make a long day short, they gave me a voucher for a hotel room at Best Western in Detroit (or, technically, Romulus, Michigan) and  a food voucher—for $7. I could have gotten more but I wasn’t that hungry and only got something at Einstein Bros.

So I’m now sitting at the gate and everything SEEMS to be going well. See, the problem was is that I was happy and bragged about being able to get first class (somehow) for the flight that was supposed to be yesterday. Instead I get the seat right behind First Class (which sucks because you have to take your table out from the arm rest) and it’s an aisle seat! Maybe I can get someone to switch with me, but I doubt it. Would you give up your window seat?

As Blackadder said in the second series, “Percy, the devil farts in my face once again.”

Edited to Add: The plane was on time and went smoothly (and the guy next to me even changed seats so I could sit by the window!). Except when I got home to KC they had lost my luggage. I’m not sure “lost” is correct, it just came in very, very late. My back hurt too much to stay in the giant line for the Baggage Service, so I came back the next morning to find my luggage amongst dozens of others.

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