I normally do not have dreams that can tell a story. Or if I do, the stories are so disjointed and odd that telling them or even writing them down makes no sense. They are basically flashing scenes that have some obscure segue that I don’t even remember when I wake up.
But today I did have a dream that told a story. As it often happens with me, the story wasn’t resolved because I woke up (which I’m glad I did because the dream was sort of falling apart at the end, as you will see). But what I did remember, I wrote down. Here it is. The majority of the dream happened because I’ve been watching all of my “Seinfeld” DVDs lately. I have no romantic interest in Jerry Seinfeld (don’t worry this is rated G) that I know of. That is reserved for another celebrity whom I will not reveal (for those of you in the Peanut Gallery that know, keep it to yourself).
I was shopping with Kim, my best friend since kindergarten. She was bitching about the things I was getting. Finally we go to the check-out lane and the cashier/bagger is Jerry Seinfeld. I hold on a conversation while Kim and I are putting the items onto the belt. I tell him, “How come you never come to Kansas City?”
“Yeah. Although I don’t blame you. Nobody wants to come to Kansas City. Anytime an entertainer comes to Missouri, they go to St. Louis.”
Once our cart was full Kim goes to take it to the car. There are more items to be bagged. I continue on with the conversation.
“So, would you like to go on a date?”
“A date?” And he scrunches up his face like God no.
“Well, it doesn’t have to be a date. Maybe get lunch as friends?”
“Lunch as friends?”
Kim comes back to get more items. As I’m writing out my info on an index card (but keep screwing up because I’m nervous) I say to her, “I’m giving him my number.”
“You’re asking him out on a date?”
“Well no. He doesn’t seem interested in that. Maybe lunch.”
She leaves for the final time to take items to the car. Jerry is gone by this time, going to a parking garage with the actors who played George (Jason Alexander), Elaine (Julia Louis-Dryfus) and Kramer (Michael Richards). I run up to him and give him my info. He says dismally, “Gee, thanks.” I knew I had failed but I don’t feel too bad about it.
I gather the last remaining items in a bag to take to the car but I don’t know where the car is. So I start wandering around these really bad parts of town (I’m not sure where this takes place. I think I mention Overland Park, Kansas but the town in the dream is nothing like the real OP). And I’m carrying a bunch of stuff that can be ripped off.
Finally I’m in this tunnel begin driven by some sort of coal cart and I’m in the cart with this Columbian criminal who sort of holds me hostage. He takes me and another person to an abandoned house and wants me to call this guy who works at a radio station in Los Angeles. The guy isn’t there, he went home for the day. And as he’s deciding what to do next…